Behind Closed Doors
by Princess of Darkness
Summary: Um..It's the scenes we didn't see in SpikeCam...that and waaay too much sugar on my part. This is my first fic so please no flames.


*Don't sue me I own nothing…

*Don't sue me I own nothing…..'cept maybe my Wolverine doll from the movie, but the damn shirt won't come off.::drools::Hugh Jackman is such a hottie.::drools more::This is a work of boredom and sugar so no flames please.

Behind Closed Doors 

_Open to Evan and Forge sitting in a theater very similar to the one from Ebert & Roeper.They're talking to each other then they notice to camera and turn to talk with the audience._

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Evan:"Hello all and welcome to our little show.Today we are going to see the REAL scenes edited from my camera during SpikeCam.Damn those censors for not allowing us to show them.We'll show them!!We'll show them all!!Mwahahahaha!"

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_Forge moves several seats away from Evan._

Forge: (_Nervously) _"That's right Evan you just keep saying that.Here is what really happens at the mansion when the X-Men think the cameras have stopped.

_The camera zooms in on the movie screen and we see Jean's room.She's dressed up in a miniskirt and tube top with her hair dyed platinum blonde.She is jumps out the window and gets on a motorcycle with a guy whose face isn't shown._

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Jean:"Oh Todd you're just so manly!I wish Scott could be more like you!"

_The camera goes back to Evan and Forge who have horrified looks on their faces._

Evan:"That was just so very wrong….I think I'm gonna be sick now."

Forge: (_Too horrified to speak_)"………." 

Forge begins to rock back and forth muttering "The end is coming" 

_ _

Evan:"It'll be okay Forge.Now we'll see what Kitty does.That should help bring him back."

Camera goes to the screen again and it's in Kitty and Rogue's room.On her bed dozens of stuffed animals are lined up and dressed in little solider outfits complete with little AK-47's.Kitty is dressed in an outfit similar to the one in Patton (If you people don't know what that is shame shame shame on you.) With a helmet, riding pants, and a crop.A table is in front of her with a map from the game Risk on it.

Kitty:"Men, I've called you here today because tomorrow we attack and show no mercy to the enemy.Soon we shall rule the world!!(Leans over to one of the bears) What was that solider?"

Stuffed Bear: "………."

Kitty:"You're scared?!Well you should be!Half of you men won't make it back here alive!"

Stuffed Bear:"………"

Kitty:"The X-Men?They will never be able to stop me!They won't suspect till it's too late!Mwahahahaha!!For who would ever think a valley girl could take over the world?!Mwahahahahaha!"

Back to Evan and Forge.Evan looks confused and frightened and Forge is lying down and talking with a therapist.

Evan:"We need to get Kitty some help."

Forge: (To therapist)"Well I think it goes back to my getting a really crappy part in the show…..that and being stuck in another dimension for like 30 years.

Therapist: (Nodding) "Hmmmm.Very interesting."

Evan:"Um…Forge can you do that later.We're kinda in the middle of something here."

Forge:"Yeah ok."

Therapist walks off to go talk with Kitty about her plans for world domination.

Evan:"Now here's what the Professor does when he thinks no one is watching him."

Camera zooms in yet againand we see the Professor's office.He's walking, yes walking not rolling around in his chair, around the room with a headset phone on his head.

Professor:"Welcome to the Psychic Friends Network.How may I help you? 

The person on the end of the phone says something we can't hear.

Professor:"Ah….I see.Let me see into your future….(pulls put a crystal ball and looks into it) Beware people wearing spandex.That will be fifteen dollars thank you."

Camera goes back to Evan and Forge.

Evan:"Ah-ha!So that's how he pays for the mansion!I knew it!"

Forge:"Yeah I was beginning to wonder where all that money came from.Now to see what Logan does in his free time."

Camera zooms again.We see the kitchen and dozens of cakes covering the table.Logan is by the oven wearing a frilly pink apron with oven mitts on his hands.A mouse walks across the room in front of him.

Logan: (Eyes getting really big) "AHHH!!A MOUSE!!"

Logan runs out of the room.Smoke starts to come out of the oven.

Logan: (running back into the kitchen) "My quiche!!"

Takes the burning food out of the oven and desperately tries to put the fire out, but only helps it spread to the other parts of the room.Runs over and gets a glass of water and puts the fire out.

Logan: (Whimpering) "Now what am I going to take to the Tupperware party?!(starts crying)Why me?!"

Flash back to Evan and Forge.Both are in shock.

Forge: "That was weirder than Jean."

Evan:"So that's whose been cooking all those cakes.I thought it was Auntie O or something."

Forge: (Shudders) "Speaking of which…let's see hers."

Zoom thingy again.We see a young couple in their late 30's enjoying a picnic in the park.

Man:"Oh I'm so glad we came here.The weather is so nice today."

Woman: (Looking at the sky) "Is that a rain cloud?"

It suddenly starts to pour on the couple, but nowhere else in the park.The camera pans over to Storm who is laughing maniacally. 

Storm: "That'll teach him to ditch me on our dates!!Mwahahaha!!"

Camera goes back to Forge and Evan.Forge looks amused and Evan is scared.

Evan:"Auntie O?I'm never pissing her off again."

Forge:"So that's where you get your insanity."

Evan:"What?"

Forge:"Oh nothing.Here's what Rogue's doing."

Zoom thingy.We're back to Kitty and Rogue's room.The stuffed animals have been changed into lacey dresses and are seated around a table with little teacups and cakes in front of them.Rogue is wearing a pink and white frilly dress.

Rogue: (Pouring tea into one of the cups) "Why thank you Mr. Perryfinel!It is a new dress!"

Mr. Perryfinel: (falls over…well he is a teddy bear folks) "………"

Rogue: (Turns to another bear)"And I simply love your dress Mrs. Pennyfeather!" 

Mrs. Pennyfeather:"………"

Camera goes back to Evan and Forge.Forge looks scared and Evan is off in the corner drinking milk.

Forge:"That was…. interesting.Don't you think Evan?"

Evan: (Hiding the glass of milk)"STAY AWAY FROM MY MILK!!NONE OF YOU CAN HAVE IT!!"

Forge:(Looks off screen and mouthing the words: Get the medication) "OK Evan, no one will touch your milk.Now for our final clip, here's Scott and Kurt."

Zoom thingy.We see the inside of Jean's bedroom.Clothes are thrown everywhere.Kurt and Scott pop out of the closet (in more ways than one) dressed in Jean's clothing.

Scott: (Singing) "I feel pretty!Oh so pretty!I feel pretty and witty and gay!And I pity any girl who isn't me today!

Kurt: (Also singing) "I feel charming!Oh so charming!It's alarming how charming I feel!And so pretty that I hardly can believe I'm real!"

Scott: (Still singing) See the pretty girl in that mirror there?Who can that attractive girl be?Such a pretty face!Such a pretty dress!Such a pretty smile!Such a pretty me!

Kurt:_ (Still singing_) _"_I feel stunning!And entrancing!Feel like running and dancing for joy!For I'm loved by a pretty wonderful boy !

_Back to Evan and Forge.Both looking scared._

Evan: (_Still in shock) _"I'm never going to look at them the same way again."

Forge: (_cowering in the corner)_ "I want the therapist back."

Evan:"Well folks that's the time we have for today.So you again!"

**The End**

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End file.
